Am I Wrong
by emptyonideas
Summary: Jacob didn't want to imprint, and Shay didn't want to be imprinted on. But between Jared and Kim, the two just couldn't seem to avoid each other. Jacob/OC
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE:**

**This will be its own timeline. Bella is getting married and Jake leaves, but I tried to just plop that into my story, so the times/seasons might not be accurate.**

**Also, Jared, Paul, Jake, Kim and Shay will be seniors! **

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><p>It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.<p>

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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><p>Shay twisted her key in the lock, shoving open the door with her hand and dropping her suitcase with the other.<p>

"Mom?"

Looking around, Shay could almost imagine she hadn't been home in days. Her mother would be a great spy; she was all quiet footsteps and never left a trace of herself behind. The pillows were all straight on the couch, the table void of everything except a bowl that they kept their keys in.

Shay took her boots off as a force of habit, leaving her suitcase next to them until later. She wandered farther in, her red socks sliding on the wooden floors.

"Mom?"

Still no answer. Shay couldn't hear anything, so she decided she probably wasn't home. She rubbed her stomach. She felt the same sort of tired queasiness that always plagued her after a plane ride. She walked toward the kitchen, fingers trailing beige walls.

"Mom?"

The light wasn't on. Shay flicked up the lightswitch. Her mother was unsurprisingly absent, but she'd left a note.

It was the only thing on the counter, and probably the only thing in the kitchen. Shay had inherited her mother's dark hair and eyes, but certainly not her lack of appetite. She picked up the small, lined paper.

_Working late. Money for pizza in envelope._

Shay's mother had forgotten that there was no place that delivered to their house, or maybe she'd forgotten that Shay's car had broken down (again) or maybe she was delusional and thought Shay would brave the freezing cold to bike to the pizza place, but no matter which one of these it was…her mother had simply forgotten.

Shay stood in the kitchen for a moment. Even though green was the first adjective that came to mind when she thought of La Push, everything outside was winter gray. The light filtering into her white kitchen only made everything seem sadder.

And it was so _quiet._

Sometimes she swore she could feel her insides moving in this house, like they wanted to escape her skin. She felt like letting them sometimes. Silence always reminded her of her parents. It was in the silence that everything had started to go wrong.

Determined not to let this ruin her day, Shay thought of another place she could bike, where there was bound to be warmth. And food. And some goddamn _noise._

* * *

><p>Shay let her bike fall to the ground near the porch as she hopped up the stairs.<p>

She'd been told numerous times to just walk in, but she still pushed the door open hesitantly and looked around.

Shay loved Kim's house. She loved the half broken rocking chair in the living room. She loved the yellow quilt that draped across the back of the couch that had a stain in the corner from Kim's pen exploding on it. She loved the photographs on the walls, even the ones that didn't hang straight, and the green pendant light in the kitchen, and the deer statue on the fireplace even though its shadows scared her at night.

Shay breathed it in and vowed her future house would be this way-used and loved and lived in and loud.

"Kim, Shay's here!"

Shay cringed at Kim's little sister. Helen's voice was like a fog horn. But in a good way. A preteen, happy, loud way. She smiled at Shay before darting back to the phone, her voice lowering as she chattered happily.

"Shay!" Kim bounded down the stairs, her hair flying in wisps behind her. "I thought you got back later."

"Couldn't miss New Year's with you, so I flew home early." _Lie._ Her dad was going out with his new wife and Shay wanted to be far away. But Shay decided to keep that to herself as Kim landed on the last stair. "How was your break?"

"Boring." She pulled Shay's sweatshirt sleeve toward the couch. "What about you?"

"Awkward," Shay shuddered, letting herself be led toward the flannel cushions. "Step monster-"

"She's not that bad," Kim cut in, giving her a look.

"Step bitch-"

"That sounds worse!" Kim interjected, but a smile tugged at her lips.

"Step terror? Step-never-calling-her-mom? Step villain?"

"What about her?"

"She organized all these activities." Shay knew this didn't sound bad, but Sandra was just hoping to fill all the moments that could be awkward. It just made things worse. "I almost lost a tooth ice skating. And it turns out, mall Santas are really creepy if you're not seven."

"I'm pretty sure they've always been creepy."

"True. It's just like...she treats me like a kid from a sitcom or something. She doesn't really grasp that I'm seventeen, and that my dad would rather wax his chest than have an actual conversation with me."

Kim frowned. She preferred to see the better in people and the bright side of things. Shay had countless lectures on how she 'shouldn't talk that way' because she was 'a great daughter' and her 'parents were just angry at themselves and not her'. Shay cut her off before her mouth opened to spill out rainbows and puppies and other nice things that would undoubtedly make her feel bad for trash talking her new step mother.

"Can we go upstairs?"

Shay nodded toward Helen, whose volume had grown on the telephone, and Kim nodded, her words lost.

"So how was your grandma's birthday?" Shay asked, seeking to change the subject.

"Fine. She insisted on pineapple upside down cake, which nobody likes except for her."

"Anything else interesting happen there?"

"Well, we went to the diner for dinner. And Jared and his friends were there."

Kim blushed, and Shay grinned. Kim had had a crush on Jared since she could remember. Jared, the russet skinned, handsome boy in her history class who had yet to really look at Kim.

It was one of Shay's greater goals in life to make Kim happy. Kim, who had been her friend when she was twelve and awkward and gangly and the new girl. She would be completely alone without her.

Therefore, Jared would see how amazing Kim was even if Shay had to pummel him.

"Did you guys talk?" Shay prodded, as Kim shouldered open her pink bedroom door.

"Define 'talk'," Kim said, ducking away from Shay's gaze and settling on her white bedspread.

"It's typically when you open your mouth and actual words come out," Shay laughed, sitting across from Kim and crossing her legs.

"Well I kind of waved. And by wave, I mean I started to wave and he didn't see me so I pretended to have an itch on my head."

"Kim," Shay groaned, grabbing her friend's knees and shaking them.

"I know, I'm the worst," Kim groaned back, covering her face with her thin fingers. "But I was with my whole family. I would have died if he'd talked to me anyway."

Shay rolled her eyes.

"I did overhear them a little. Apparently, Jacob Black skipped town," Kim offered, tempting Shay away with gossip. "Heartbroken."

"Heartbroken by who?" Shay asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd gone to school with Jacob Black, knew his name and face, but he was older and she hadn't really talked to him since...well, probably ever, come to think of it.

"Some girl from Forks. He's in love with her and now she's getting married."

"Wow," Shay said, frowning. "A little young."

"I thought so," Kim said, absentmindedly playing with the ends of her hair. "It's kind of sad though. He left La Push just to get away from it."

Shay shrugged. Except for a minor crush she currently held on Simon Hote, the brother of her self-proclaimed enemy Kala, she had no romance in her life.

She'd certainly never felt a love so bad she wanted to skip town. But seeing her parent's desolate marriage, and seeing the pain on Kim's face when Jared ignored her, Shay couldn't help but feel like maybe it was for the best that she'd never been in love. What did she really need with it anyway?

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><p>A few hours later, Shay looked Kim, the eraser of her pencil dangling near her mouth. She squinted at her, as if that would help make her list grow longer. Kim's eyes flicked up to her gaze, and suddenly her cheekbones were even more prominent as she moved her mouth to stick her tongue out.<p>

"Stop staring at me."

"I'm just thinking, and your head happens to be in the way."

Kim rolled her eyes and continued scratching down her list with her own pencil, which was nowhere near her mouth. Shay bit her lip and smiled, looking at her pad of paper.

Every year her and Kim would write down New Year's resolutions for each other. It was easier, somehow, than doing it for themselves. Plus, it was fun to see what they wanted each other to do. No matter what happened, even if it was December 31st, they had each completed each other's lists every year.

In a few minutes, Kim triumphantly stopped scribbling, holding her pad in the air.

"Done!"

"Okay, give me yours first."

Kim handed Shay her torn out list, Shay looking down at Kim's small, precise handwriting.

**Shay's New Year's Goals**

**1. Enter the writing contest in school**

**2. Make a new friend (But not better than her best friend)**

**3. Get revenge on Kala once and for all**

**4. Drive a functioning car**

**5. Pass gym class**

"Kim, that's no fun," Shay growled, throwing her list aside. "They're so serious. And attainable."

"That's the point, Shay!" Kim fixed her with a look. "Why? What'd you write on mine?"

"Um...nothing," Shay said, snatching her list before Kim could grab it. "Give me another minute."

"No, I want to see!" Kim's hands were moving towards her as she almost pulled out her back twisting in the other direction.

"Just, let me add a few more!" Shay protested, hitting away her arms.

"You were writing for five minutes, what does it say?"

Shay was about to get to her feet when Kim plucked the book from her hands, turning it over to see Shay's not as lovely or nice handwriting.

Kim frowned, her cheeks glowing bright despite her skin being many shades darker than Shay's.

"Seriously?"

Shay grinned sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders.

"I thought that was attainable."

Shay ducked as Kim threw the book at her head.

"Alright, alright, we'll make you a new list!" Shay defended, laughing as she held her hands up in surrender. Kim's glare only increased as she chuckled. "Um...try out for track? Take a trip! Go shopping more!"

Kim continued to stare at her.

"Uh...read more books! Go to a concert! Visit colleges with her very best friend in the whole wide world?"

Kim's look softened-it always did-poor girl couldn't hold a grudge. It was one of their main differences. Shay realized she was winning, and grabbed Kim's arm, pulling her up.

"It's almost midnight. Let's make some popcorn and watch the ball drop, and write down your new list?" Shay smiled hopefully, nudging Kim's shoulder.

"Okay," Kim conceded, finally smiling at her, but not without an eye roll.

Shay smiled back, linking her arm with Kim. Just for good measure, she toed the book she'd written in far away, so it almost slid under the bookshelf.

But, if anyone came in at that moment, they'd see Shay's list for Kim, written in large, looping letters.

_Kim's New Year's Resolutions_

_1. Make out with Jared Cameron_

_2. Make out with Jared Cameron_

_3. Make out with Jared Cameron_

_4. Make out with Jared Cameron_

_5. Make out with Jared Cameron_

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><p><strong>So there it is! Just a short beginning. I know the kind of Jake resisting imprinting is around, but I've been playing around with it in my head.<strong>

**Should I keep going? Let me know your thoughts! **


	2. Chapter 2

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."

-Alan Watts

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><p>School was one thing Shay didn't miss over the break. Well, to be fair on school, Shay really just hated waking up early. And having to look at Kala Hote's face. And gym class.<p>

But she trudged through the hallway anyway, because she was a senior, and every day here meant one day closer to freedom. She could shoulder through a few months. Hopefully. If Kim kept her sane.

At least it was lunch time. And _finally_ Friday.

Shay headed to her table, carefully placed near the window, giving a nice view of the sun...or clouds. Whichever happened to be going on the moment. (Right now, it was clouds. Okay, it was almost always clouds.)

Shay settled into her chair, plopping the sad looking turkey sandwich she'd taken from her house onto the round wood table.

"I wish I had put cheese on you, sandwich," Shay said regretfully, poking the thin bread with her finger. "And I really wish I hadn't squished you under _Moby Dick_."

"Do you always talk to yourself when I'm not around?"

Kim smirked at her as she sat in the chair opposite, flinging her tray down. She'd opted to buy lunch today. Shay wasn't sure which was the lesser of two evils.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Shay grinned, opening up the pitiful sandwich bag.

"It's a wonder we sit alone."

"If you think I'm bringing you down, feel free to cut me loose," Shay said, watching Kim's hair fall in her face as she inspected the pizza she'd just gotten. She frowned and dabbed at the grease with a napkin.

"So something weird happened today," Kim said, ignoring Shay's joke.

Shay's eyes prodded Kim to continue, which she did, with her eyes wide and hopeful. Her fingers left her pizza to clutch the edge of the table as she leaned forward.

"Jared looked at me."

Shay raised an eyebrow, but that was it. The big reveal.

"I'm going to need some elaboration, Kimster." Shay crossed her arms and ignored her sandwich, focusing on her nearly combusting friend.

Kim consented with a long breath.

"Well, first of all...does he look bigger to you? He was sick, you know, this week. Or I assumed he was because he was absent. And he did seem sweaty today. Or hot at least. Well anyway, he seemed different to me, so I was looking at him. And then he looked at _me_. I don't mean like a passing glance...I mean like, full on staring."

"Did you drug him?"

Kim blushed, ducking her head down with a frown.

"Gee, thanks," she muttered, rubbing her forehead. "Because the only way a guy could stare at me is if I drugged him?"

"That's not what I meant! I meant, because he was acting goofy," Shay backpedaled. "I was kidding! You know I was."

"I know," Kim said quietly, tracing the woodgrain of the table with her finger.

"So what do you mean?" Shay pushed on. "How was his expression?"

"Kind of dazed," Kim said, her voice soft. "Like he was really surprised to see me?"

"Did you pop up out of nowhere?" Shay asked confusedly.

"No! I was sitting next to him the whole period. But I'm just being stupid. He didn't even talk to me, he just ran out of the classroom. Maybe I had something weird on my face."

Kim retreated into her school mode, shy and not confident. Shay hated it, and resolved to bring her back.

"Well I bet he realized you're the prettiest girl here. And that you're smart and down to earth. And that you're awesome, and he should probably date you as soon as possible-"

"Shay! Stop." Kim rolled her eyes, but her spine straightened so Shay grinned widely.

"Kimberly Anne, are we going to have another pep talk or am I going to have to hurt you?"

"Your middle name is Anne?"

Shay almost wished she'd been filming this conversation, if just to capture the look on Kim's face. There was no way Shay could describe the utter horror and excitement that passed through Kim's features. Her dark skin grew rosy as she sent Shay a horrified look.

Shay grinned back, hoping to encourage Kim. She doubted Jared heard what they were talking about. Hopefully.

Except Kim didn't answer. Jared had stopped at the edge of their table, lunch tray dwarfed by his hands. Kim's back was to him, but she'd yet to turn around.

To save her best friend from looking like a gulping fish, Shay turned her attention to this absolutely bigger, muscular version of Jared, who was standing there suddenly looking very out of place.

"Yes, Kimberly Anne, except only I call her that, and only under special circumstances," Shay clarified, giving Jared a look. "Right Kim?"

Jared seemed to relax as a conversation was stricken up. Kim continued to be a contrast of expressions-this time it was both relieved and mortified. Shay sent her a look to use her words. Her and Kim had perfected a series of unspoken gestures over the years.

"My mom too," Kim squeaked out. "But only when I'm in trouble."

Shay blessed the heavens that Kim's vocal cords were working. Jared's eyes brightened as she turned to face him, his eyes following the movements of her face.

"I'll remember that," he laughed, nodding his head. Moving a step forward, his hand fell on the empty blue chair next to Kim. "Can I sit with you guys?"

Shay was suspicious. Jared had never so much as spoken a word to Kim, and now he wanted to sit with them? Shay would have to make sure he had good intentions. Kim had only been dreaming of this...oh, forever. If he hurt her, he'd be crushing a lifetime's worth of fantasies.

"Uh, sure."

Kim's voice was unusually high, and she tried to send Shay a secret look, but Shay shook her head and smiled at Jared instead. He seemed ultra aware of his limbs, gingerly lowering himself in the chair. It squeaked with his weight and she stifled a chuckle at how ridiculous he looked crammed into a seat clearly meant for someone half his size.

Another silence descended on them. Kim's eyes were glued to her pizza as if that was the object of her affection, instead of the six foot tall, dark eyed boy beside her.

Shay sighed. She'd have to do some meddling. But hopefully just a bit.

"So what's the gossip from the other side of the cafeteria?" Shay asked. Jared, at least when he was found in the cafeteria, was usually at a table right near the kitchens with his moody friend.

Jared smiled, his teeth blindly white. Shay was momentarily reminded how good looking he was. Especially with these newfound muscles. _Steroids? _ She hoped not, for Kim's sake.

"Paul's not really the gossiping type," Jared answered, taking a drink of his water. "Unless you want to hear about his new car."

"Where is Paul?" Kim asked. Shay knew how hard she was trying to be normal, and it was sort of working, if not for the fact that she couldn't make eye contact for more than three seconds. Jared's eyes were glued to her anyway, and Shay felt suddenly like she was impeding on a moment.

"He's sick."

"Oh, did he get it from you?" Kim asked, suddenly watching him thoughtfully.

Jared faltered for a minute, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, there's...something going around."

Shay felt like there was more to that sentence, but before she could open her mouth, Jared was speaking again.

"So you knew I was sick?" he asked, raising an eyebrow toward Kim.

"Well, yeah...you sit next to me in history," she answered, her cheeks once again glowing red.

"It's hard not to notice all the extra elbow room," Shay put in, winking as Jared turned his eyes to her.

He chuckled again, a low, throaty sound and Kim shot her an appreciative look. Shay just winked at her too.

"So did I miss anything good?"

Shay decided to step back and let Kim take over. Considering every question he'd asked had been aimed toward Kim, Shay probably wasn't really needed. She nibbled on her turkey sandwich, watching the scene before her without really listening to the words.

Kim and Jared did make a cute pair. Him, all muscles and giantness, Kim all quiet smiles and thin arms. His eyes looked happy. Shay trusted him for some reason, though she couldn't really put her finger on why.

The lunch period passed without Shay saying too much more. And when the bell rang, she gave Kim a well needed shove toward Jared, promising she'd talk to her after school.

Kim followed Jared in a daze, barely reaching his shoulder, and Shay could swear Jared took her arm to maneuver through the crowd.

Shay smiled widely, heading the opposite way. Maybe her New Year's resolutions for Kim would happen sooner than she thought.

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><p>Shay pulled the straps up of her bag that had a habit of falling down her shoulder. It had been her dad's when he worked at the university labs with her mom. Helen had called her a professor more than once because of it, but it held her massive textbooks and the huge notebook she liked to carry, so she loved it just the same.<p>

Writing was the one class that Shay didn't have with Kim. It was an elective, and since her graduating class was so small it was just her and five other kids. She opened the door, conscious of not knocking anyone out with her huge bag, and settled in her seat as Mrs. Harrison wrote their writing prompt on the board.

Elective classes were in a wing that hadn't been renovated since Shay had been alive, so her desk was filled with scribbles of past students and wobbled from years of abuse. She teetered and caught the eye of Simon Hote, who smiled at her as she righted herself. He was all dimples and dark skin. She blushed to her hairline.

Shay didn't like when people made her blush. Especially when that person was the brother of her least favorite person. She averted her eyes and took out her book to avoid Simon's gaze.

The bell rung, saving her from more potential embarrassment, and Mrs. Harrison cleaned the chalk from her hands and turned to face them.

"You know the drill. Write for ten minutes and then we'll discuss."

A flurry of papers followed this announcement, kids turning to a blank page of their notebooks.

"Uh, Shay?"

Shay turned to face Simon, who stared at her through thin framed glasses. Somehow it worked on him.

Should she ask him how his break was? Would he ask about hers? Why did she suddenly care so much? Because Kim was actually on the brink of dating Jared and she didn't want to be alone?

Of course, she opted to say none of these things to avoid him thinking her utterly crazy.

"Yes?"

"Can I borrow a pen?"

She deflated.

"Oh, sure."

Digging through her bag she found a blue pen in the bottom and extended it to him.

"Thanks."

She nodded.

Yup. He didn't care about her break, or what her middle name was. He wasn't making moony eyes at her either.

She had to stop overthinking things.

* * *

><p>Shay and Kim always met near the parking lot ten minutes after school ended. On the rare and blissful days her car decided to run, Shay would drop Kim off, but usually it was just them riding their bikes.<p>

Shay shivered, checking her phone. Kim was late. Kim was never late, unless she had chorus after school, which never happened on Fridays. Shay rubbed her hands together uselessly.

Stupid car and its stupid engine and stupid problems that she didn't understand. Maybe she could invent a bike that had a heater.

"Shay!"

Turning around, Shay saw Kim coming toward her, her black coattails rising as she jogged. She reached her before Shay could call back, her voice raspy from the cold air.

"Jared asked me on a date." The words were rushed but Shay caught them after years of Kim-speak.

"That's amazing!" Shay shook Kim, laughing for her. "That's great! We're happy." Shay frowned, seeing Kim's smile fade away. "Aren't we happy?"

"I feel like I need oxygen."

Shay steadied Kim with one arm and leaned her against the bike rack.

"This isn't some mean joke, right?" Kim wondered aloud, rubbing a gloved hand against her forehead.

"Kim! Of course not." Shay punched her in the arm, causing Kim to glare at her, but at least stop frowning. "You should've seen the way he was looking at you at lunch."

"Really?" Kim asked. She put her hands on Shay's shoulders, looking at her in the eye. "I know you wouldn't lie to me. Do you think...do you think he actually likes me? Really?"

"Really," Shay confirmed, putting her hands over Kim's and squeezing them.

Relief filtered into her eyes as she backed away, smiling slightly.

"I can't believe this is happening."

"Well believe it."

Kim smiled wider, pressing her hands to her face. A sharp wind suddenly blew, making her hand dance wildly in the wind. Shay clamped her own around her ears and grinned as the cold made her eyes water.

"Let's go somewhere warm and talk about it, okay?" Shay asked, bouncing on her toes.

Kim nodded, following Shay as she grabbed her bike from the rack.

Kim, in all her Kim selfless glory, grinned at Shay as she adjusted her bag to sit nicely behind her before she started to pedal.

"So how was your day?"

_Well, I don't want to brag, but Simon Hote asked me for a pencil,_ Shay thought, but instead she watched Kim's face-bright eyed and clear-and decided against saying it.

"It's safe to say yours was more interesting," Shay grinned, her hands tightening on the handlebars. "Now I'll need to hear the story from the beginning. And don't leave anything out."

* * *

><p>Shay shook her head of the memory. That was it. If she had to pinpoint when her life took a barreling shot off course, that would be the moment.<p>

That day when Jared began staring and never really stopped.

It had to be that day, because after that Jared started being around. A lot. Then Kim stopped being around. Then Shay was left to her noiseless home.

Then Kim started feeling guilty, and dragged Shay to a party with Jared's friends.

Then Shay met Jacob Black.

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><p><strong>There's number two! Thanks so much to ascribs, guest, and WrittenPhoto for encouraging me to continue!<strong>

**Jacob will be in the next one! Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

-Carl Jung

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><p>Shay's mom was home, on a Friday, before six. <em>Six<em>. O'clock. Shay hadn't seen her in daylight in weeks. She blinked rapidly, wondering if she was just an apparition. But no, there was her mother, slender and graceful, with her dark hair in a bun. She was sitting in the far seat at the kitchen table, her eyes skimming over a letter.

"Mom?"

"Shay! You scared me!" Her mother put a bony hand over her chest and narrowed her eyes. "I thought you were studying upstairs."

"I was."

"And now?"

"Well it's Friday. So, I was just going to have a snack."

"It's important to study even on the weekend if you want to get into a good pre-med program."

Shay stopped with her hand on the cabinet handle. She raised an eyebrow at her mother.

"That'd be helpful...if I was doing pre-med."

Her mother looked up, her gaze flickering. Everything about her mother was all angles; even her eyes flared in harsh, sharp lines.

"You want to do pre-med. We talked about this."

_Was I present at that conversation?_ Shay thought. _Did I say anything interesting?_

Shay took a deep breath, turning her body toward the table where her mother assessed her.

"I want to major in creative writing." She hoped she sounded brave, and not petulant, like she feared she would.

Her mother almost laughed. Shay's face pinched into an even deeper scowl, and she dug her fingernails in her thighs to keep herself from exploding.

"You are too smart to waste it on _writing_."

She failed. Her rage was sparked as her mother primly folded her hands in front of her.

"Why do you always say writing like I'm going to be homeless or working the streets? It's completely respectable-"

"-My daughter will not live such an unstable life." Shay almost snorted-as if her life now was all that stable because of her mother. "What job will that get you? I won't be around to support you forever."

"I _love_ to write. I can make something out of it. It's been known to happen," Shay said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Life isn't always about doing what you love."

"You love what you do." Shay's hands were clenched again, her mother's shut downs only making her angrier.

"I don't love research. It has to be done, and it makes a difference in the world, which I am glad to take part in."

"Writing needs to be done. It may not be as important as finding a cure to a disease, but it's important to a lot of people in different ways." Shay thought of all her favorite novels. It was those stories, those words that got her through her rough times. Not this rigid, unfeeling woman in front of her, but _words_.

Her mother retreated back into herself. Shay realized she either had haughty anger or no feelings at all.

"This is the end of of this discussion."

Shay breathed her nose. If this was a cartoon, she was sure steam would be coming out of it.

Forgoing her snack, she padded from the room, wishing she had been wearing shoes so her footsteps would echo.

* * *

><p>Kim's face lit up on her phone screen as it vibrated her nightstand. Shay waded through clothes and shoes to reach it, kicking a Converse halfway across the room before picking it up. She'd have to clean soon.<p>

Shay didn't bother with hello. Kim had been MIA for the past few weeks, so she wasn't in a particularly giving mood.

"What's up Kim?"

"Shay? You sound mad."

"Just...distracted. What's going on?"

"I'm sorry I haven't been around a lot lately. But I miss you!"

"You saw me at school today, Kim." Shay didn't mention that she missed Kim too. A lot. Time alone was overrated.

"You know what I mean." Kim sighed, and Shay could imagine her smoothing the ends of her hair. "What are you doing right now? Do you want to come to a party?"

"You're inviting me to a _party_?"

"Yes. Jared's friends are having it. And he wants you to come. _I_ want you to come."

"I don't know, Kim. I just had a big fight with my mom. I don't know how much fun I'd be."

"It'll be a good way to distract yourself. Please Shay? You'll like them."

Shay thought of Jared and Kim making kissy faces at each other at school. Would she just be subjecting herself to a night of being the third wheel?

"I don't know...don't you want alone time with Jared?"

"It's a party, there won't be any alone time with anyone!" Kim joked, before her voice became soft. "I know I've been a bad friend lately. But I don't want to be one of those people. I want my boyfriend and my best friend to be friends."

"I like Jared," Shay protested.

"So you'll come?"

"I didn't say-"

"Great! It starts at seven-thirty. Is your car working these days?"

"If by working you mean sputtering along and threatening to break down at any moment."

Kim laughed, her voice back to full volume. Shay decided to go along with Kim's enthusiasm. She did miss her, after all. And she wasn't doing anything better. At least she didn't have to tiptoe around her mother.

"Great! I'll text you the address."

* * *

><p>The house Kim sent her to was small and lit up in the dark night. She could already see people moving around inside and was suddenly very self conscious to walk into a place where she didn't know anyone.<p>

Why didn't she make Kim give her a ride?

Pulling the keys out of her ignition, Shay shut the door of her black Ford tentatively. It had a tendency to stick.

She rubbed her palms on her jeans, hoping this wasn't a fancy event. Most of her clothes were jeans and sweaters. She'd opted for black today, to not draw attention to herself.

She had barely reached the door when it swung open, revealing a tall, grinning boy. He was similar to Jared in skin tone and height, but he was definitely younger.

"You must be Shay! I'm Seth." He outstretched a hand to her, his smile never faltering.

His hand was on fire when she shook it. Kim had always said Jared was like a furnace too. She frowned but quickly covered it up. His friendliness was contagious, and she didn't want to squash it.

"Hey, nice to meet you."

"Come in! We've been waiting for you to eat, so they'd kill me if I kept you on the porch any longer."

Shay followed him inside, thankful at least that she wouldn't have to walk in completely alone. The feeling disappeared rapidly, however, when she saw the inhabitants of the room.

Huge, good looking, muscular men...all looking at her.

"This is Shay everyone."

Had she died? Was heaven a small, warm house with pale yellow walls and men who could all benchpress each other in weight?

Everyone greeted her in different ways, some with hellos, others with waves. They all looked interested for a moment, before turning toward what she could only guess was the food Seth had mentioned earlier.

Seth had become her personal bodyguard and she followed him through the room, resisting the urge to latch onto his arm. Shay felt like Kim for a second-she was sure she was blushing as she walked toward the kitchen. She gave everyone a small wave as one man detached from the group and approached them.

"I'm Sam."

He didn't look too much older than the rest, but he had a certain confidence that made him seem older.

"Nice to meet you."

"This is Emily," he added, as a woman came up next to him and immediately slid into the space underneath his shoulder. She was pretty, and Shay noticed with some surprise scars running down one side of her face. She hoped she hid her reaction as Sam wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulder and hooked her into his side.

"Welcome to our home." Her voice was cozy and warm, like her house. Shay smiled despite herself.

"Thanks for having me. It's lovely."

"Thank you. Now please get some food before these animals eat it all."

"Shay!"

Shay turned to see Kim enter the house, Jared at her side.

"I'm so glad you came!"

"Well you hardly gave me a choice."

Kim hid her smile in Jared's shoulder. Paul followed quickly behind. His eyes narrowed at her, before he pointed in her face.

"I know you."

"Yeah, we go to school together," Shay reminded.

Paul's eyes squinted in concentration.

"Yeah. Didn't Kala trap you in a locker once?"

Great. He hardly remembered her name, but he remembered that. From _four years ago._

"I think you're confusing me with someone more embarrassing." Shay hid her blush with a joking smile.

"I could swear it was you." Paul looked at her, confused.

"You're an idiot." Jared rolled his eyes and hit him in the back of the head. "Come meet some better people Shay."

Shay grinned once at Paul, who scowled at Jared as they walked away.

* * *

><p>This party was overwhelming, to say the least. Too many names swirled in her head. It didn't help that they all looked related.<p>

Ducking huge bodies, Shay spotted a girl sulking on the couch. She had short hair, and if Shay had to guess, she was a few years older.

Shay weighed her options. She desperately wanted to sit down, and a second of peace from the jokes being traded back and forth. Kim was sitting in a corner with Jared, unsurprisingly. Shay inched toward the couch. The girl had noticed her lingering and sent her a withering look.

Shay sat down before she chickened out.

"Hi, I'm-"

"-Yeah, I'm not interested."

"Well that's a weird name," Shay joked, giving her an awkward grin.

She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry," Shay grimaced. Her sense of humor came out at bad times. "Actually I came over here because you _weren't _smiling at me like a lunatic. Everyone's very...friendly. And there are so many _names_."

"So you chose this seat because I'm an asshole?"

"I was going to say off-putting, but asshole works."

This time, the girl actually snorted in amusement. Shay momentarily realized she was pretty, and felt more at ease knowing she wasn't all bad attitude and frowns.

"Leah," she offered, nodding at Shay once.

"Shay."

"So this party...what's the occasion?"

Leah's gaze drifted toward the door, where she nodded her head.

"It's not everyday the prodigal son returns."

Shay's attention swung toward the door, where a new person was entering. His hair was black and cut short, his posture stooped. He looked dejected, but...familiar.

"Jacob?"

"Bingo." Leah sounded bored and leaned her head back, resting on the wall behind her.

Shay remembered Kim telling her that Jacob Black had skipped town...because of some girl? Noise swelled as everyone noticed him. Shay's eyes followed the action, watching everyone clap him on the back. He didn't seem super cheerful, even after a break from town.

"Shay!"

Kim's voice never really qualified as loud, but she caught Shay's attention and waved her over to the mob by the door.

Leah's eyes were closed as Shay got up. She walked over nervously, unsure of why she was nervous, but feeling weights in her stomach just the same.

When had Jacob Black gotten so..._hot_?

She almost blushed at her own thoughts. Everyone here was hot, that was for sure, but he made her tongue lodge in her throat.

_Stop. Stop it, Shay, _she chastised herself. _Just walk over there and try not to say anything stupid._

Kim grabbed her arm when she was close enough, grinning at her. Jared noticed her presence and nudged Jacob, bringing his attention to Shay.

Shay tried to smile naturally, even though her heart was speeding.

And then he caught her eye.

His expression went from a forced smile to a slack jawed frown. Shay frowned back, her body doing strange things like taking a step forward. Why was she having this reaction to him? She'd seen him before. Passed him in the hall. Her chest had never constricted this painfully, even when Simon Hote smiled at her.

"Um, I'm Shay," she said, forcing the words from her throat. They were painful, but she got them out. "But you probably know that. Or not," she added, not seeing recognition in his eyes. "I was put in a locker once. Seems to be what people know about me. Although, I don't want that to be my identifier." Stupid Paul for putting the idea in her mind. If it was possible, she would be blushing from her head to her toes. "Anyway. I'm Shay."

Oh, god. She literally wanted to melt and slither away. Would he care if she turned and fled? He was still staring. Angry, bitter staring that she did not evoke.

She could feel the voices lull around her, but she wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not.

Suddenly, Jacob's gaze flew to Jared's. His eyes were wide, but his mouth was set in an angry, firm line.

"I can't do this." His voice was scratchy, like he'd been sick.

With Jacob's gaze off her, she could breathe again, but just barely. She didn't have much time to find relief, however, before he was out the door.

He'd left it open. She looked wide eyed at Kim who was looking as confused as her. Jared's face was pained as he wrapped an arm around Kim's waist. Paul just laughed.

Sam, who she didn't realize was right behind her, sighed.

"I'll go."

_What the hell was that?_

Everyone shifted uncomfortably. Shay could feel the tension in the room. She was sure she'd been a part of what caused it, but she didn't understand how or why. Ignoring Kim's gaze, she slunk back to her place on the couch. She would just retreat for a second, let her awkward rambling fade away, and hope that everyone would stop looking at her.

"Boys, I made a pie for dessert. Let's go cut it up." Emily's eyes darted around the room, and she gestured toward the kitchen. "Boys!"

Everyone's attention snapped to her, and Shay sunk farther into the cushions, thankful for the kind woman and her beautiful, distracting pie.

Leah was watching her in amusement, her lips turned up in a smirk.

"And I thought tonight would be boring," Leah said, cracking her knuckles while an evil grin took over her face.

"What...was that?" Shay asked, looking toward the older girl with wide eyes.

"Nothing good, pipsqueak." She clapped her on the back. "Nothing good."

* * *

><p><strong>HUGE thank you to all who reviewedfavorited/etc.! Writing feels lonely sometimes, so it's lovely to hear when people are out there!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."  
>-Benjamin Franklin<p>

* * *

><p><em>Jacob<em>

First, he thought of Bella.

Bella's dark eyes. The way her hair smelled. Her clumsiness. The way she looked at him when he worked on the bikes with her. The way it felt to touch her, the still human her, warm and soft and inviting.

But that wasn't working. It should have been easy. It was all he could do while he was away from La Push, even when he tried not to. But now..._She_ was popping into his thoughts too, just on the peripheral, but there. He had to stop thinking about people altogether.

So then, he thought in the moment. Just whatever was happening.

The trees he was passing. The way the green smeared in his vision because he was going so fast. The icicles clinging to the branches.

If Jacob focused on the things around him, the things he was doing, he could forget the...mistake that just happened.

_It's not a mistake._

Sam's voice was stern. When wasn't it stern? Jacob ignored it, and kept running. Running to forget the blush that invaded Shay Brooks' face as he stared at her. The way her eyes followed him carefully. The way she babbled while he grew angry that this was happening to him.

_You can run all you want, but that isn't going to change anything._

Well, Jacob was certainly going to try. This was the last thing he needed. What he should be doing is trying to stop Bella's wedding, try to get her to remain warm and alive and un-vampiric and instead he had to imprint on a girl he'd never paid mind to?

He had bigger problems than this. This was a wrench in his plans. Fine, she was pretty. In a small, delicate way. And kind of funny. And if he remembered correctly, pretty smart. But she was...unwanted.

_This is great._ Jared's voice entered his mind. He must have been running for a while if Jared had phased_. Kim is going to be so excited! She hates lying to Shay. And now Shay can be around more!_

_She will not be around more_. Jacob growled as he thought the words to Jared.

_So what? You're going to ignore your imprint? _

Jake practically heard the snort in his Jared's thoughts. Jake turned toward where he was, and barred his teeth, lowering his jaw until it almost hit the dirt.

If wolves could laugh, Jared would be as he backed away, bowing his head.

_Shay's great_. Jared's annoying voice was in his mind again. God, he almost wanted to phase back just so he could ignore his pack, but his anger kept him in four legs. _You're going to love her. Well, you already know that I guess...but really. You'll like her._

But he didn't want to like her. And the thought of loving her was confusing his racing brain. He wanted to be with **Bella.**

_If you were supposed to be with Bella, you would've imprinted on her_. Sam reminded, a little smugly. _She would have chosen you._

Jake's vision grew hazy with anger. He felt it pulse in his bones. If he was in human form, he would have exploded with it. He wanted to tear something apart, maybe Sam. He wanted to cause destruction, he wanted to unleash his fury and knock over trees and run until he couldn't breathe.

_Go ahead. Cool down. Come talk to me when you're done._

He wanted to resist. He wanted to tell him where he could shove his advice. That he wasn't helping in the least bit.

But it was an order from his alpha, so he accepted it and kept running.

* * *

><p>Shay had been writing furiously. Her five subject notebook, covered in song lyrics and stickers, had been permanently attached to her hand. Whenever she was emotional, words poured out of her.<p>

And for some strange reason, she was feeling very emotional. The only problem was, she wasn't really sure what emotions she was having.

After finishing a short story for school, Shay was still feeling oddly wired. To get out some of her antsy energy, she decided to do the errands she'd been putting off.

But so far, it wasn't helping.

Not the trip to the hardware store, or the one to the bank, and certainly not the pharmacy. Her limbs felt itchy, like she needed to stretch them, even though she'd been walking all day.

She just felt like she needed to be doing something. But she wasn't sure what it was.

She pulled into the grocery store parking lot, tapping her fingers on her steering wheel as she shut the car off. She made a mental list of things she needed to buy in her head as she hopped out, her sneakers thudding on the pavement.

The grocery store stood alone, just a few minutes away from the group of restaurants and the bakery she was just near. The parking lot was practically empty, making the surrounding trees seem more imposing as she grabbed one of four carts the store had.

She pushed the door open, the bell announcing her arrival to the cashier who smiled at her warmly.

"Hey Shay! How are you doing?" Mr. Waters asked.

"Good, thanks for asking. You?"

"Oh, you know, no rest for the weary."

Mr. Waters always said something to that effect, and Shay always smiled and started to shop. He was possibly the nicest man she'd ever met. She couldn't imagine him saying a bad word about anybody. It would look strange coming from his face—old and withered, but open and friendly.

Shay remembered coming to La Push from California. Her grandpa couldn't live alone and refused to move out of his house, so when a university in Seattle could take on both of them, her parents decided on the change of scenery.

Shay still couldn't believe her dad had moved them here. He had practically escaped the moment he could, but he felt duty bound to care for his dad.

Shay didn't know how to live a small town life, at first. She hoped it would be like _Gilmore Girls_, but in reality it wasn't always like that. There were some people that didn't fit in, some that gossiped too much, and some that preferred to keep to themselves. But she liked it just the same, and even though she didn't extend her friends circle too far away from Kim, she always felt the town itself was her family.

Her mother hated it.

Fiona Masterson ironically never mastered the art of small talk. She didn't believe in Quiluete traditions or stories, much to Shay's grandpa's disdain. She never did anything friendly unless it was a brisk nod and smile.

It was a small miracle her mother had stayed here after the divorce. Shay thought she would have to beg and plead, but thankfully the university wasn't that far from their house. Plus, her mother was too busy to move out. She probably couldn't spare the afternoon.

So, even though her house was father-less, the only thing that really changed in her life was her mother's name.

Shay turned her attention back to her list, scanning her cart.

Macaroni and cheese. Milk. Pizza. Cereal. Chicken, to shake things up.

Staples of cooking for yourself.

Shay smiled as Mr. Waters checked her items slowly, and handed him her mother's credit card.

"Your mom is lucky to have you," Mr. Waters said, handing the card back to her with a receipt. "My grandson would come home with a cart full of candy and potato chips."

Shay grinned, grabbing her bags with both arms.

"I prefer frozen pizza and Pop-tarts."

Mr. Waters laughed as she nodded good-bye with a smile, shoving the door open with her back.

Shay put one handful of bags down as she rummaged for the keys in her pocket. Every time she told herself she'd get them out and ready, but she always forgot to-

"Shay."

Shay yelped, her heart momentarily stalling and her chest protesting with an ache as she turned to the voice next to her. Taking a deep breath, she saw Jacob Black standing there, his hands deep in the pockets of a pair of basketball shorts.

He was not wearing a shirt.

"You scared me."

_Don't stare. Don't stare at his muscles. Definitely don't stare at the V. Definitely don't think about where the V ends. For god's sakes, pull yourself together, have you ever seen a human male before-_

"Sorry."

He didn't sound that sorry, but she didn't press it. He was clearly having some issues. And his cool indifference helped her stop thinking of his attractiveness. Well, sort of. She wasn't staring anymore, but no one told her heart to stop beating erratically.

A silence encased them. Shay stopped fumbling for her keys, and instead bit her lip, looking down to the floor. Jacob was staring stonily ahead, seeming like he chose a space to stare at near her face, but not quite at it.

What the hell was up with this kid?

"So you're really going for no service, aren't you?" Shay gestured toward his feet.

"Huh?"

Jacob's eyes flicked to her for a moment, so intense she looked away again. _Why?_ Why did her brain tell her to make stupid jokes in times like these?

"You know, no shirt, no shoes..." she trailed off, and for the second time in two days, wanted to sink into a puddle on the ground.

Jacob didn't answer. She didn't have time to be offended, because she suddenly realized her breath was turning white in the air. Her breath! Which meant that yes, she was cold despite wearing a parka with a fur hood...

"Aren't you freezing?" she exclaimed, watching him stand there like it was a Summer day. "It's February!"

"I'm aware." He shrugged, sighing. "I was...running."

"Barefoot?" Shay raised an eyebrow. She'd heard stories of Sam's gang, of course, had questioned it herself when she saw Jared and Paul's giant transformations. She didn't believe it, but there had to be some reason Jacob was acting so..._weird._

"Yes."

His voice was clipped. Why was he even talking to her? Clearly, he didn't want to be. Shay suddenly felt angry and sad at this fact.

"Well, I'll let you get to it," she said lamely, finally reaching her keys in her coat pocket.

Jacob nodded once, before turning in the opposite direction of the door.

"Be...safe." His words were halted, soft, but there.

Shay watched him with a frown, before he reached the border of trees and disappeared into it.

* * *

><p>Sam's voice was in his head instantly.<p>

_I went through the same thing. It's normal. You'll feel the pull toward her, whether you want it or not._

He felt bitter. Angry. Confused. He didn't even know he'd started following her until he was throwing on his shorts and lurking near her hunk of junk car. It was happening too quickly. He wasn't ready.

_So I'm supposed to accept I have no choice?_

_Imprinting doesn't make your choice, it tells you the right choice to make. Your brain was smart enough to realize it before your heart._

_Oh, why don't you write a fucking poem about it. _Jake growled, running toward his house.

At least there, no one would be in his head.

* * *

><p><strong>Just a short one, to get in some of Jake's POV!<strong>

***Whispers nervously* What did you think?**


	5. Chapter 5

you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone

* * *

><p><em>He couldn't sit still. It was like every one of his muscles was coiled with energy, and sitting was torture. His jean clad leg bounced, then his long fingers tapped, then his short haired head and dark eyes roamed around the room.<em>

_His body was too big for his small blue chair. His skin was too warm. His eyes were too alert._

_She couldn't look away from him. He made the air seem palpable. She felt like she was choking on the energy he exuded, like she was being wrapped up and slowly bled of coherent thoughts._

_She didn't know how much tension could be in a room. She'd never felt someone fill a space before. She thought you couldn't feel something intangible, but everything he touched, air to words to anything at all, was instantly on fire._

"Whatcha writing?"

Shay slammed her notebook shut, looking up to see a smirking Kim take the seat next to her.

Their math teacher was slowly erasing the board as other students walked in.

"Embarrassed?"

"No. I just don't like people reading my stuff." Shay shrugged. Kim quirked an eyebrow at her, the front pieces of her hair falling loose and into her eyes.

"I'm your best friend," Kim stated, shaking her head. "And don't you read it out loud in class?"

"This was just some scribbling," Shay said, scratching her neck. To be honest, she didn't really know what she was writing. It felt a little bit like a dream she'd had the night before, but she woke up foggy and wasn't clear on who or what it was about.

Kim gave her another look, but didn't say anything else as she reached to pull her binder from her messenger bag.

As Shay switched to her math book -black and void of any stickers or signs of happiness-the bell rang and Mr. Humes cleared his throat. Shay had written him into one of her stories once—the math teacher who ironically looked like a pencil. Stick thin, rigid posture, and a surprising shock of red hair. Most of their teachers were Quileute, but he had replaced Mrs. Jacobs after she had her baby.

"Morning everyone," Mr. Humes gestured to the board behind them. "I put a few problems up for you to do while I go around and check your homework. Now—oh, Mr. Black, how nice of you to join us. Will we look forward to your tardiness after this long absence?"

Shay's neck almost snapped when she jerked her head to the door.

Jacob. _In school?_

Of course, he was in this class. He was in most of her classes, but she'd never really paid attention to it before. It's amazing how things surround you once you know to look for them.

"Sorry." Jacob grumbled and took a seat in the far corner, a row of desks separating them. Shay watched his posture as he slumped down. He had stubble on his cheeks, and his eyes were darkened with lack of sleep.

Even Mr. Humes seemed surprised. Jacob always had a quip and a smile to send a teacher, but right now he looked like he was melding into his tired metal chair. He shrugged it off and started checking the homework on her side of the room.

Shay sunk into her chair herself, unsure of why she suddenly felt so exposed.

It's not like he was watching her. Alright, he'd creepily shown up at the grocery store where she was...but he had the world's most awkward, forced conversation with her. He literally ran out of the room upon seeing her last week. He wouldn't even bother to talk to her if it wasn't for her connection with his friends.

Shay sneaked a glance at the back row he had sunk his black V-necked torso into and found his eyes glued to his desk. As if he felt her, though, he suddenly looked up.

And glared. Heartily. Laser-beam worthy, brown eyed hatred.

Shay's eyes widened. What had she done?

She looked away, but couldn't help but catch Kim's gaze on the way back. Her cheeks warmed as Kim raised an eyebrow at her.

That was a gesture that was growing annoying.

Shay shrugged it off and started copying down the problem on the board.

Focus on math. Focus on math.

So what if he was here? And bitter. This wasn't a life altering event. Jacob Black was back in school, and Shay Brooks couldn't care less. And it was most certainly _not_ what she was dreaming about last night.

Nope. Not at all.

* * *

><p>Rumors had circulated by lunch. Well, honestly, in a school this size, they'd probably circulated about ten minutes after Jacob arrived, but the cafeteria was practically buzzing. Like a hive of gossip starved, nothing-happens-in-this-town, this-is-all-we-have-to-talk-about bees.<p>

Honestly. He was just a boy. Who let some stupid girl break his heart, and then he disappeared. She vaguely wondered what this girl looked like, and how she'd enraptured Jacob so much, but she quickly pushed that thought away.

Shay heard some girls talk about how sorry they felt for poor Jacob. _Poor _Jacob. They failed to notice he'd lost his sense of humor, and become a big, fat, glaring jerk.

Shay clutched her brown bag in her hand and weaved through the tables, making her way for the window. She kept her eyes on the floor, a worn out white and green tiled disaster. She'd gone to her locker first and Gordon Greer, her sniffling locker neighbor, had dropped all his books on her feet. She stared sadly down at her red sneakers.

Now she was late _and_ her pinky toe hurt. She just wanted to sit and eat her peanut butter and jelly in peace. Was that too much to ask?

...Apparently, yes. As she neared her corner, she saw what was once a duo had turned into a party. The table used to seem so large with just her and Kim chatting across its wood surface.

Now it was overrun.

Jared sat with them now, of course. He added to their table in a happy, lovey way that only made Shay want to vomit 60% of the time.

Jared and Kim were there. And also Paul. And Embry, and Quil. And was that Seth on the end? All the grades ate lunch together, but they didn't usually intermingle much. And then...right there on the end, in _her_ seat, was Jacob Black.

Shay contemplated turning around and eating lunch in the faculty lounge. It would be quieter. And have decidedly less testosterone. But then Kim saw her and waved her over with a guilty smile.

The only empty seat was next to Seth, which Shay was immensely grateful for. Seth was growing to be her favorite. She'd prefer Kim, but she'd probably be making gooey faces at Jared, anyway.

"Hey guys," Shay said, sliding next to Seth.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Shay!"

The last one was Kim. The others had far less enthusiasm.

In an effort to get herself into a better mood, Shay turned to Seth.

"Hey kid, wormed your way to the senior table?" she asked, winking at him.

"Maybe." Seth grinned widely, leaning his head on his hand while his bright eyes found hers.

"Oh I see." She laughed. "That can get you in anywhere, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Seth said innocently, biting into his pizza.

"Duende." Shay said, shaking her head.

"Bless you?" Seth asked, his mouth full.

Shay laughed.

"No. Duende. It means like, magnetism. Charm."

"Never heard that one."

"I have a thing for words you don't hear a lot in regular conversation," Shay pushed down the desire to name more that she loved. "Ask Kim, it drives her crazy. She thinks I sound like I'm trying to know better than everyone else, but I just love words. There's so many and we just use the same old tired ones over and over. So unpoetic. Sorry, do I sound like a dork?"

"A little, but I like it. _Duende_," he practiced, his mouth twisting with the word.

Shay laughed, instantly feeling better. "Very nice," she complimented, turning to her lunch.

She bumped elbows with Seth as she tried to open her bag. He tried to squirm down, but to no avail. The table was too small. Its occupants were too large. She decided to try and keep her limbs as close to herself as possible and try to blend into whatever conversation they were having before she arrived.

"What's going on?" Shay asked Seth quietly, gesturing to the rest of the table. Shay hadn't noticed, but now it was quite obvious she'd interrupted something...tense. Everyone was avoiding each other's eyes.

"Oh, erm, just talking about how much school Jake's missed," Seth supplied, eating the last half of his pizza in one bite.

Shay watched, impressed and disgusted, as he chewed and swallowed quicker than she unwrapped her sandwich.

"That's all you're eating?"

Paul looked at Shay's hands, and she cradled her peanut butter and jelly closer to her.

"Yes?"

"It's so..._tiny_." He sounded personally offended.

"This is a full sized sandwich."

"Full sized for a child." Paul snorted. He was a bit shorter and broader than the other guys, so he was closer to her eyes as she locked gazes with him.

"I am child sized compared to you giants."

Paul smirked, shoveling his fries into his mouth as Shay rolled her eyes.

"So, anyway, we were talking about Jake," Jared reminded.

Shay didn't know how he'd heard Seth talking to her, but somehow he did. She pointedly did not look at Jacob, wanting to avoid any more unwarranted glaring. Instead she stared at the brown walls behind Paul's head. Tan, really. Butterscotch. Beige. So many colors she could use. There was a fire extinguisher near their table. That would be good if there was ever a fire...but how did you use one of those? She'd be too panicked to read the instructions.

She'd probably just run out of the door. It was only about five feet from their table, and she'd be safe on the field they used in gym class when the weather was actually warm.

"What do you think, Shay?"

Shay snapped back at her name. Kim was talking to her. Oops. Bad time for a strange runaway of thoughts.

"Um...huh?"

"I was saying you're great at English. So maybe you could tutor Jake because he missed so much?"

_What_? Who was this person and what had they done with shy Kim who stayed quiet and never volunteered her for anything?

She searched her brain for a polite excuse, but didn't have to use any because Jacob spoke his first words since she'd arrived.

"No."

Kim looked at him, surprise etched into her wide eyes. His word was final, firm...completely embarrassing. Shay felt herself flush, like somehow it was personal that he didn't want her help.

"No?" Kim asked stupidly.

"No," Jacob repeated. "I don't need her. I can handle it."

"Oh." Kim's posture deflated. "Okay."

Jared glared at Jacob. Jacob glared at his food. Shay glared at everyone, and suddenly wished she went to the faculty room after all.

"He's not usually like this." Seth leaned over to whisper to her, patting her back. "Just give him time."

Shay nodded absently, tearing off small pieces of her bread and rolling them into balls. It was hard to convince herself this wasn't about her when everyone was looking at her oddly and offering comfort.

_Just give him time._

Time to do what?

* * *

><p>Shay never cared for gym class. She didn't like changing clothes, or sweating, or the room itself. It had plenty of windows, but it always smelled like sweaty socks and the rafters were full of sad, deflated balls.<p>

Plus, she wasn't that great at sports. She covered up her awfulness with heavy self-deprecation and jokes so her teammates didn't hate her for not participating much.

But she wasn't in the mood today. She could feel herself complaining too much, but she couldn't help it. It was just one of those funks that clung to her attitude, no matter how many times Kim had tried to cheer her up in the locker room.

Thankfully it was her last class.

_She'd be home in less than an hour._

But she had to get through this first.

Kala Hote being on her team didn't help her mood. Kala never helped much of anything.

They gathered around the volleyball net, arranging themselves into position.

In a burst of bad luck, Kala Hote, Gordon Greer and Jacob Black were all on her team. It was like greater forces were conspiring against her, hell bent on making this the most awkward, horrible game of her life.

She stood next to Kala, on the left side of the net. Kim gave her a sympathetic grimace from the other side while Jared and Paul laughed about something. Simon was in the serving position, fixing his glasses.

Kala's hair was tied in a high ponytail, making her forehead seem even huger. How was Simon the brother of this spawn? She tried to forget they were twins. Fraternal, thank god. Her hair was darker, her eyes wider. Doe eyes, except not cute and cuddly. They turned to her with amusement.

"We haven't talked in a while, Shay," Kala said, bouncing on her toes and giving Shay a wicked smile.

"I know," Shay deadpanned. "It was like a vacation."

Their gym teacher was taking attendance in a small black notebook. Shay didn't know if she wanted him to slow down or speed up.

"I saw you eating lunch with Sam Uley's gang. I'm impressed. It only took you seventeen years to get friends."

Shay learned long ago that the best way to treat Kala's meanness was a good dose of sarcasm and nonchalance.

"I'm available by appointment for any pointers." She sent her a lazy smile that made Kala's eyebrows seek a reunion.

"Well that _is _the question. Why does a group of hot guys want to hang around you and Kim? How desperate do they have to be?"

Shay's anger started to burn, a slow warmth that started in her chest and rose to her throat. She hoped it would set her words on fire, but for once, she wasn't finding any.

"Ok, let's start! Jacob, you'll serve first!"

Jacob caught the ball easily. It looked comically small in his hands. Shay was just happy she was saved from answering.

"What, no stupid comeback for that one? Is that because you know I'm right?" Kala asked maliciously, her lips twisting into a smirk.

And then suddenly, before Shay could answer, the volleyball collided...with Kala's head.

Kala jerked forward, her face catching in the net as she cried out in pain. Her ponytail was askew, the ball rolling innocently away as the gym erupted in noise. Shay covered her mouth to contain her giggles as Kala groaned, her nose twisted in the tangles of the net. Voices stood out from the clamor—Simon's, asking if she was okay, Kim's yelp of shock, and Shay's favorite—Paul's heavy laughter.

Kala shook herself free, her hand clutching the back of her head as turned around.

"What the _hell_!"

Paul was still laughing, now joined by Jared, even though the teacher had tried to quiet them down. Shay reminded herself to befriend Paul a little bit more tomorrow.

"Jacob!" Mr. Andrews crossed his arms, sending Jake a glare. He stood innocently in the same corner he'd served from as Mr. Andrews assessed him. "What happened?"

"Sorry," Jacob smiled, his voice light. "It slipped."

His smile was devastating.

Full teeth, eyes bright, all white against his perfect skin. For one second, that smile reached everywhere.

Shay didn't know if it was on purpose. She couldn't let herself think that, not with how Jacob had been acting toward her.

"Okay, okay," Mr. Andrews said, his arms suddenly a whirlwind as he gestured them in a downward motion. "Settle down, settle down. Kala, do you need the nurse?"

Kala, still rubbing her scalp, sent the teacher a look that could wither anything living.

"Yes. I need ice. God, do you see how big he is? I'm surprised he didn't_ kill_ me."

"Okay, go. Jacob's team can play one short."

Kala sulked beside her, mumbling under her breath as she walked slowly toward the door.

Shay turned back to the game and tried to pay attention. Gordon had shifted beside her, and Jake was serving again, this time the ball sailing easily over the net.

Could it be on purpose? It's not like he could really hear their conversation. Kala hadn't been talking loud, wouldn't want to let the teacher know what she was saying. But even if Jacob did hear...

Okay. Stop. Really, it didn't matter.

But Shay turned anyway. Spared Jacob a look, catching his eye as she did so.

And then, in just a second, one single, fleeting second, he smirked.

She bit back her smile, turning back to the net.

...Maybe Jacob Black wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

><p><strong>HUGE thanks to all readers, especially reviewers as they make me feel like I'm not writing to a void! <strong>

**I love fanfiction, because it lets you play around with stories. Someone mentioned they don't like what happened with Jacob/Nessie and to be honest, I really don't either, and this is me thinking about alternatives. So whether you do or don't like the real plot, or just want to see something different, thanks so much for reading along with the ideas swirling around my head!**

Til next time!


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